Chapter 12

 Chapter 12 

"Never underestimate yourself " 

There were paintings all around the road ,
Allena was sitting there right in front on the chair , she was observing people 's reaction about her paintings .
She was very happy after seeing that many people are liking it , but deep down there was something which was discouraging her
" That's not so good ,"
"Ohh come on, don't waste your time here "
There were almost more than 100 people who were praising her  art , but her mind was still stuck on those who were not  liking them .
Allena heard someone's voice in the crowd ,
"Mr ukresh 's paintings are better than this rubbish sale "
Allena went home , sitting with her paints and brush , was about to start a new painting , but there was one thought that was troubling her again and again  , she was thinking "what if people will dislike her new painting , "
" Why some people were not praising my art , why they don't like it "
"What else should i try so that they will like my art "
Time passes from 6 pm to 2 am
But she was still thinking about this , not able to draw a single scatch ,
Day by day , she was focussing on negative comments about her work ,
Day by day , she started doubting herself , whether she is a good artist or not .
Once your subconscious mind started thinking about something , it will not stop only upto a single thought, it will create a whole conversation in your mind.
Allena was loosing her confidence day by day .
Days passes , she was still trying to find what should she do,  so that everyone praises her .
After some days allena has become less focussed on her art , and was more focussed on negative comments .
There was a competition of paiting , which allena won last year , but this time , she was not having much confidence to even participate , somehow she decided to participate,
But when the competition started , thoughts of loosing, thoughts of bad comments , thoughts of rejection , thoughts of disapprovement ..started  disturbing her .
And guess what " she loose the battle "
What was the reason ?!?
Her art ?or her low confidence ??
Does she was underestimating herself ?!?
Ummm , you can think easily what I am going to tell you now , but before that let's see what allena is doing , okay !?
Come on , let's enter the story again !!
"I can hear the sound like someone is crying , weeping , !!
Allena : "why I was not  able to focus "
Her inner voice : "Because you were more focussed on negative thoughts "
Allena : "I know , but why people don't  trust  me,
that I can be a good painter "
Her inner voice : " how does it matter , do you trust yourself ??, "
Allena: " I used to do " , but now I don't have any confidence " , now I don't know whether my paintings are worth liking or not "
Her inner voice : "ummm ,  even you are not ready to accept yourselves as you are , ".
" It's not people allena , who stopped praising you , it's you who stopped believing in you "
"People will always give their views regarding your work  , regarding you , your character , your job , your passion, everything , they will always say , sometimes bad or sometimes good "
It's only upto you , which side you will choose ,
It's only your  fault , it's you who was thinking about negative comments only , that's why you loose your confidence , what if you think about all the positive comments and  improve your art ??!

Okay , now I have one question , aren't we all are same as allena ??!
" Have you ever  wondered , when someone says good about you , you feel happy but only upto certain period of time ", but if someone says bad about us it effect us more !!?
Isn't it ??
Why we all wanted to fit in the checklist of others , ?!?
Why we want others to trust our work , and sometimes we don't even trust ourselves ?!?
Then how could we accept others to choose us ,
If we can't choose ourselves over all the negative thoughts !??

"Kitna b try karlo , hum sabki najar m acha nhi ban sakte "

Why we always underestimate ourselves.??
There are many whyyyysss !!in our lives
But only answer to these whyyyysss is
" Self belief , self understanding , self confidence , "
You know the best thing which I learnt in this lockdown is " accepting the way you are ,
It's okay ,if you are not good at something, but without accepting , you can't progress "
You can reach from level 0 to level 100 but only by accepting your 0 level .